It has been called many things: the American dream, heaven on earth, the primary residence of the heart…. The quest for it is in our blood – we yearn, dream, and work to realize it. “It” is a home. Not just a house – one can find that anywhere. But a home. The kind of home Norman Rockwell immortalized. The kind of home in which Barbara Stanwyck’s fraudulent domestic goddess was supposed to reside. The kind of home about which Bing Crosby sang. Home.
I have come to appreciate the very idea of home with increasing intensity over the past few weeks. It has been a season of changes around here – for us and for many members of my family. Some changes have been welcomed with excitement. Others with immense concern. But each change, in its own way, has pointed back home.
My parents are moving tomorrow; moving out of the home they have lived in for nearly seventeen years. They are moving to a new home near by, which will be much better for my father’s bad knees. As excited as they are, there is a twinge of sadness in the proceedings. As awful as winters have been on top of the mountain (just TRY to drive up the road to their house in a snowstorm without a four-wheel-drive vehicle!) the rest of the seasons have been equally magnificent. The sunsets alone are worth those pesky winter months. The family milestones that have occurred in and around that house were remarkable. From preparing for high school proms (not mine!) to the blessing of a child (mine!), we have enjoyed many a fabulous occasion within the confines of the old house up on the hill. And as of Tuesday, I will turn in my key. But never mind. The trappings of our family – and really the only things that really matter in creating a home – are moving with my parents and will soon fill the lovely house down on the flat.
My sweet Grandma broke her hip a few weeks ago. Later that evening, my sister and I went through her house to make sure everything was prepared for a long absence. It was sad. I love my Grandma’s house. It was MY home the year my parents moved into theirs. I did not want to miss my senior year at the high school I had attended for three years. So my grandparents opened their home to me. While my Grandma has had her ups and down during her stay at the hospital and now the rehab center, she has unabashedly wanted to make her room as much of a home as possible. Within just a few days of her arrival, she sent me to the store with specific instructions: purchase a load of M&Ms and a bowl to put them in. For as long as I can remember the hallmark of my Grandma’s home was her always plentiful junk food jar. If Grandma couldn't be in her home for the time being, she was going to bring a piece of her home with her. It seems what you really need are the things that define you – from treats to people – to make a rehab room a home.
These lessons have been timely indeed as we have struggled to keep up with myriad challenges presented by our own home – and all at the same time. From our water heater to our swamp cooler, things in our old but lovely home have begun to fall apart. And so as we have engaged in sometime lengthy repairs and installations (hello central air conditioning!) we have had our moments of frustrations as we ask the eternal questions: what now?!?! But this very afternoon, I happened upon a few pictures on the computer – the pictures from the real estate listing for a home that would become our own. I was able to see the progress we have made toward making it beautiful (ugly trees and bushes out, new shutters and window boxes in) and remembered the character that made us fall in love with it in the first place. While looking at the picture of the kitchen – my kitchen now! – I remembered fantasizing about making thanksgiving dinner for my family in it. Nearly two years later, the pictures (and accompanying memory) still give my butterflies in my stomach. That’s when it hit me. The relative cost of maintaining and improving our beloved home is low indeed. This home has become a integral part of our family’s story. This is where milestones have been and will continue to be reached. This is where memories will be made. This is where my family finds refuge, solace, and joy. In the wake of much madness, we have managed to make a home.